remembering...

While I was packing, I found a bracelet my grandpa made (he used to make me and my sister jewelry when we were younger) that is gold and has my name on it. My grandpa died when I was about 8 and I never really thought about him much because I was so young when he died which left me with very few memories of him. My memories of him are a little blurry, but since I found that bracelet, I've been trying to squeeze out any possible memories of him. The things I remember most about him is picking fresh oranges with him in the morning, showing me all the cool stones and pieces in his workshop and the way he loved me and my sister. Its amazing that someone that was such a part of your life, can vanish in your memories because you choose to not reflect upon them. I never realized how much I missed him until I found that bracelet. It makes me wish we had more time together, I wish he could see me now, I wish I could hear him be proud of me, I wish I could hear him say I love you just one more time. RIP Grandpa, I promise to remember you often and forever. I've been wearing that bracelet every day since I found it :)

Along the same lines, I wear my grandma's diamond earrings every single day to remember her. She was the kindest person I've ever met. I have more memories of her since she passed away when I was older, but the thing I remember most of her was that she used to sing me and my sister to sleep with Silent Night. That song will forever be one of my favorite songs because of her and I plan on singing it to my children and tell them stories about her. Any time I hear Silent Night, it instantly brings me back to my childhood, cuddled up into the bed, in the room that my mom used to sleep in. Listening to my grandma sing while I stared at the fake candles, flickering in the windows attempting to fall asleep. She would sing to us in such a gentle and soothing tone, her voice honest and caring. Again, I wish she could have seen me grow up, grow into the person I am today. I wish I could hug her again, but most of all, I wish I could hear her sing me Silent Night one more time. RIP Grandma, you'll always be someone I look up to and I promise to pass down the tradition of singing Silent Night to my children to put them to sleep.

In other, not so depressing news, my room has been packed into boxes, packed into the bf's uhaul truck and is currently on its way to Alaska. Having the bf here for those two days made me fall in love with him all over again. Im more excited than ever to start our life together in Alaska! If you asked me a year ago if I thought i'd be moving to Alaska to be with him, I would have said hell no! its amazing how things change, how love and friendship grows, how you can become so attached to someone, how you're future grows before you're very own eyes. Im ready for this change.
Im super excited to drive to Alaska too! I know it sounds crazy! Stuck in a car for 3 + days by myself, sleeping in my car. but Im ready for that adventure too! I asked my roommate to come, but I believe she will be in school so ill be doing the drive solo. Im actually really excited to do it by myself! I plan on taking a good week to do the drive so I can explore the lands, go hiking and sight seeing, visit a good friend in Vancouver, Canada. Its like having two adventures in one trip :) I've got one month and 1 week before I leave...well i guess it kinda depends on when i get my passport! Im hoping to leave by the 16th or 17th of September!

Here is to remembering the ones you love, the ones you lost and the future loves in your life!
hugs and tons of love
Nicki